When Whusheane Perry relocated to Chicago from Texas in 2024, he expected Brightpoint’s Alternative Lifestyle Dads Group to be a good way to meet people in a new city.
He didn’t expect it to become a community he would learn and grow with every week.
“I gained that without an expectation, which gives it so much more value to me,” said Perry, 49, adding that the program led him to “the people I need to be connected to.”
Perry was among the graduates of the fourth and fifth cohorts of Brightpoint’s Alternative Lifestyle Dads Group gathered earlier this month to celebrate completing a 12-week program centered on fatherhood, support and community.
The room filled with laughter, applause and song as the graduation ceremony recognized LGBTQ+ fathers and father figures who completed the program, which provides a space to connect with others navigating similar experiences. Roughly 75 men have participated since the initiative began more than two years ago, according to program leaders.
“I want to thank you graduates for being dedicated and loyal through everything,” group leader Otis Mack told participants during the ceremony.
The men continued to show up for themselves and their peers every week, Mack said, despite personal challenges including injuries and even the loss of a participant’s child. He pointed to that commitment as an example of the group’s dedication to each other.
They’re among the millions of LGBTQ+ adults across the country raising children. According to the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law, about 2.57 million LGBTQ+ adults are parenting children under 18, and approximately 5 million children are being raised by an LGBTQ+ parent as of 2024.
Marlo Passmore, program director of fatherhood services, said the program was created because many family-centered services have historically focused on mothers.
Even rarer are programs specfically for LGBTQ+ dads and father figures.
“This program allows them to be authentic and transparent without judgment,” Passmore said. “We pride ourselves in providing that safe space.”
The group meets every Wednesday; upcoming programs will be structured over 10 weeks, Mack said. While the program follows a curriculum, he said sessions also include discussions about topics like family dynamics, depression, co-parenting, anger management, financial literacy and other life skills.
Group members are encouraged to help steer conversations by suggesting issues they would like to explore, Mack said, and guest speakers lead discussions periodically on topics ranging from celebrating Pride Month to estate planning.
For Perry, the program became more than a networking opportunity after he moved to Chicago. Invited by a friend, Perry said he entered without many expectations beyond connecting with people in a new city.
Perry has raised three godchildren, now ages 11, 17 and 18.
Asked about his biggest challenge before entering the program, Perry said it was “being okay with my sexuality as a father.” He attributed those feelings to “societal norms and expectations” and concerns about what his children would think.
Since participating, Perry said workshops and group discussions have helped him work on his patience and communication.
He also said being surrounded by older Black gay men, including men in decades-long relationships, had been especially meaningful.
“I’ve not been exposed to gay Black men who have been married for the amount of time that these guys have been married,” Perry said. “It is very inspirational.”
Another participant, Cedric Speights, 67, said he initially joined to support Mack. He did not expect to gain anything himself.
“When I got there, I enjoyed what it turned out to be,” Speights said, describing “a group of men sharing emotions, being vulnerable, but not weak.”
Speights, who described himself as a father figure to his nieces and nephews, said participating in the group helped him better understand both the other men and himself.
“I think men need that space to show some vulnerability,” Speights said. “For someone to listen, because at home, you may not have that person to listen to you.”
Mack also highlighted activities beyond weekly sessions, including a men’s retreat and camping trip where participants cooked, fellowshipped and enjoyed group discussions.
“Three days up in the mountains,” Mack recalled. “It was simply, simply amazing. “
Passmore said the program’s success extends beyond graduation because many participants remain involved afterward, returning as alumni to encourage and recruit future members.
“Our success is the continued participation,” she said. Alumni “continue to participate, continue to encourage, continue to recruit.”
For those considering joining, Passmore’s message was straightforward: “I want everyone to know that this is a safe space. We welcome all LGBTQIA fathers and father figures. We would love to have them.”
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Kyra Senese is a Chicago-based freelance reporter and graduate of Columbia Journalism School. Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times and other local and national publications, where she covers community issues, public health and accountability.